You have a diagnosis, or you are far enough along to know that your child's body reacts to the world differently. Some days the tag on a shirt is a crisis. Other days they crash into the sofa for an hour and seem to need it. This page gives you the vocabulary for that, and a ladder you can use at home tonight.
The eight senses, in plain words
Most of us learned five senses. Occupational therapists work with eight, and the extra three explain most regulation trouble in young autistic and ADHD children.
| Sense | What it does | What it can look like when it is off |
|---|---|---|
| Sight | Light, colour, movement | Squinting under fluorescent lights, staring at spinning things |
| Hearing | Sound, pitch, background noise | Hands over ears at the hand dryer, or not answering to their name in a noisy room |
| Touch | Pressure, texture, temperature | Hates labels and haircuts, or does not notice a scraped knee |
| Taste and smell | Flavour, odour | Refuses foods by texture or smell, gags at the cafeteria |
| Vestibular | Balance and movement, from the inner ear | Spins without getting dizzy, or panics on a swing |
| Proprioception | Where your body is in space, from muscles and joints | Crashes, squeezes, chews, pushes; seems "too rough" |
| Interoception | Signals from inside: hunger, thirst, heartbeat, needing the toilet, feeling hot | Melts down "out of nowhere" when actually hungry; toileting is hard; cannot say "I feel sick" |
Notice which sensations your child seeks or avoids, and bring those observations to an occupational therapist. We do not claim that one sensory system is the foundation of regulation or attention.
Over-responsive, under-responsive, and both
Sensory differences run in two directions, and one child can run both ways.
- Over-responsive: the volume knob is turned up. Light touch feels like a shove; a vacuum cleaner is unbearable; new food smells make them gag. These children avoid, cover, flee.
- Under-responsive: the volume knob is turned down. They need more input to register it. They seek: spinning, jumping, chewing, mouthing, crashing, loud noises. They may not notice pain, cold or a full bladder.
The pattern often flips by sense: hates the blender, loves to be squeezed. Responses can also differ from day to day. Motor differences sit alongside this. A large meta-analysis found motor coordination differences big enough that the authors called them a core feature of autism. 1 Discuss movement concerns with a clinician; one behaviour does not identify its cause.
The regulation ladder
This is an editorial organizing aid, not a validated sequence or a test of your child. A person may not fit one description, and the labels do not identify the cause of distress.
- Comfortable and engaged. Note what your child enjoys; eye contact is not required.
- More active or unsettled. Notice changes without assuming they need to be stopped.
- Having difficulty with demands. Consider whether a pause, fewer choices, or a familiar support would help.
- Very distressed. Follow the individual safety plan agreed with the adults supporting your child.
- Quiet or tired afterwards. Offer space or company according to their needs; do not assume a fixed recovery time.
Discuss the patterns you observe with your child’s clinician. Do not use these labels to prescribe deep pressure, restraint, weighted products or a particular movement activity. See the support plan.
Co-regulation first
Our practical starting point is adult support and a predictable environment. The amount and kind of help a child needs varies; the ladder below is an organizing aid, not a validated developmental hierarchy.
Check what support you need too. Taking a pause or asking another adult for help can be part of the plan; a difficult moment is not proof that you failed to stay calm. See parent support.
You might try a shared activity your child enjoys, such as walking or dancing. Stop or adapt it if it adds discomfort. We have not established a research-backed claim that shared rhythm calms two nervous systems.
Where the disagreement is
Polyvagal theory’s neuroscience is contested. A 2023 critique challenged five core premises about vagus-nerve anatomy and evolution. The Polyvagal Institute publishes the proponents’ response. These are opposing positions, not a settled mechanism for this ladder. 2, 3
We use the three-state map as a way to organize observations, not to explain a child's vagus nerve or diagnose their state. Ask a qualified clinician about any proposed sensory program and its goals. Try things; keep what your child responds to.
Discuss supports that fit your child
You might ask your child or clinician about a chosen retreat spot, tolerable clothing, or ways to preview a change in routine. Notice comfort and preferences rather than assuming a particular sensory activity will work. These are editorial prompts, not treatment instructions.
For children under 7, ask your CLSC about Agir tôt. 5 See who does what.
This week
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Sources
- Motor coordination in autism spectrum disorders: a synthesis and meta-analysis (2010) ↩1
- Fundamental challenges and likely refutations of the five basic premises of the polyvagal theory (2023) ↩1
- Critical discussion of polyvagal theory (2026) ↩1
- Sleep, sensory integration/processing, and autism: a scoping review (2022)
- The Agir tôt program: early screening to better address children's needs (2026) ↩1